Marriage: Adultery - Disclose to Defend con't...

NOTE: For my unknown readers/followers: With this post and any other post that I write related to marriage I am NOT talking about my marriage, unless I specifically say. I wouldn't do that to my wife. Besides, the Internet is not the place nor the audience for that. We have a great marriage and operate via faith just like any other Christian marriage. My objective here is simply what it has always been- to share with you what the Lord propels me to write.

Yesterday, I was minding my own business and the Lord began to share something, similar to a word of wisdom, with me about some people my wife and I had been praying for. As clear as I sit and type this, the Lord said that He was going to "uphold a spouse because of their honesty". Allow me to put the main idea of this statement into a few bullets. Of course, this can benefit singles as well. Please be aware that these next few statements concerning marriage are fairly straightforward and serious. The same tone taken in scripture about marriage underlies what's written. Here goes...

• Honesty is truth.
• You will never have any real or long-term peace without truth.
• There is no real freedom without truth.
• Be 100% truthful with God at all times. He knows anyway.
• Be 100% truthful with yourself at all times.
• Be 100% truthful with your spouse at all times.
• Being honest with your spouse will prevent the enemy from gaining ground in your marriage through deceit.
• Do not allow too much time to pass from an unseen offense or marital violation until the time you come clean. Tell the truth. God sees all, yet we still must confess our sins (1 John 1:9)
• At the base level, adultery is having sex with someone other than your spouse. However, New Testament (NT) scripture says that if we look on someone with lust- adultery of the heart has already been committed (Matt. 5:28). Therefore, NT scripture takes adultery a step further. You don't have to sexually touch a person. Don't be deceived by the enemy into thinking that just because you hadn't had sex with a person other than your spouse that you hadn't committed adultery. Further, do not allow ANY unhealthy communications or interactions with the opposite sex. What's 'unhealthy' you say? Whatever communications and interactions you know that your spouse would be uncomfortable with. It is in your power to keep distrust, confusion, and strife away from your marriage.
• If you have committed adultery on your spouse, confess it to God immediately and be prayerful. Both God and your spouse have been violated. You have robbed your spouse of what only belongs to them. Counseling also may be necessary at this point to help with the recovery efforts between you and your spouse. Either way, if you want to repair the breach (e.g. hole produced by the adultery) in your marriage, you'll speak up and repent to God. If not, expect more frustration and difficulty than planned for your life and marriage.
• CORRECT THE ADULTERY - Stop it and close all adulterous access points!
• Be prayerful for your spouse that you've committed adultey on. Open and honest confession will open a door to healing for the relationship (See James 5:16). Your spouse needs you to build a track record of telling the truth even when it hurts. For the years to come, they must know that you'll tell them the truth. This will bring long-standing firm security to the other spouse and you too.
• Anything withheld from your spouse that you should communicate creates a breach. This breach becomes a spiritual opening for the devil. Only God and the devil knows what's next then. You, your spouse, your children, your finances, etc. - all are vulnerable now.
• Whenever you withhold what's necessary from your spouse, you keep things from God withheld from you and your marriage. Remember, the two of you are now one in the eyes of God. God will chatise the spouse who knowingly causes the other to lack information.
• The spouse that withholds will suffer the most. Remember, God can chatise spouses individually. See Adam and Eve.
• Partial truth is dishonesty.
• Late truth is dishonesty.
• Do not expect a marriage that you're continuing to violate to be successful. It may last, but it won't successfully last. There will be a degree of misery due to unconfessed marital violations. Don't help the enemy attack you and your marriage. He doesn't need any assistance in destroying you or your marriage. He already hates you, your spouse, and your marriage.
• There will never be 100% trust, without 100% honesty. Don't expect it. Fear will remain in the area of your untruthfulness, filtering over into other areas. If you are fearful that your spouse will violate your marriage, is it because you have in some way?
• The honesty ball is always in your court regardless of what your spouses actions or responses are. You're held accountable for you, not them. God is looking at you. Don't try to get Him to look at them. He's looking to you to come up to His standard of honesty.
• Marriage is serious to God. So are the violations of it.
• Marriage is a covenant not an agreement. All violations of it, particularly adultery, is a covenant violation.
• Give your marriage the blessing of truthfulness til death. Amen.

Folks, please stay tuned. Initially, I planned for this blog series to be only two parts, however I'm compelled to continue on. There are some other necessary items up next for discussion about marriage. Additionally, I will be posting a series of scriptures related to each marriage topic. The related scriptures will be posted on a stand alone blog post. Until next time, feel free to comment. Shalom!

Marriage: Adultery - Disclose to Defend

Greetings folks,

Up to this point I haven't blogged on anything related to marriage. Although, I have tweeted and retweeted on the subject [@Wordman138 and @Wordman137 on Twitter]. Of course, prior to my own marriage I didn't necessarily feel propelled to do so. However, the time has come. I'm excited!

Let's get started...First, we'll quickly look at dating.

Dating
Usually people date before they commit to marrying someone. Some date one person, some date a few people, and some date many people. Moreover, some just casually have sex (e.g. fornicate), but wouldn't exactly call those relationships dating relationships. Whatever the case, to God, and to most people, those relationships wouldn't be considered marriages. Of course, if you lived in Biblical times or live in a region that observes similar Biblical customs, you'd probably never date. You'd just select one person or have someone selected for you to marry and eventually get married. That's it. Interestingly enough, dating is really not acknowledged in scripture. This is not to suggest that dating does not matter to God, because it does matter. People matter and what they do and whom they do it with seriously matters to Him. He's a God of purpose and we are people of purpose whether we know it or not. Think about it: Everyone has a purpose and "purposed-people" they're suppose to interact with. Besides, there can be some negative long term effects from our dating decisions. Some of which, impact our lives significantly. Therefore, we need not down play dating as immaterial, especially if sex is involved. To put it frankly- to God, before marrying, anyone that haves sex with someone is considered a whore. Man or woman. Biblically, the emphasis is not so much on the number of sex partners that makes them a whore, but the fact that it's sex outside of marriage. Even if the sex partners plan on marrying each other- it's fornication which is whoredom. So if you're a person that attempts to make others feel bad because of the number of their sex partners, think again- evaluating yourself carefully in light of the scripture. Besides, we ALL have things that we need to repent of...TODAY!

Now, although very important, dating is not a covenant nor covenant-producing arrangement designed by God. There are no legal vows or documents involved. God does not directly sanction such relationships from the throne of Heaven. Additionally, dating does not spiritually represent anything in God's grand scheme.

Marriage
Marriage, on the other hand, does have spiritual representations and significations. It's a covenant relationship, including vows and is legally binding on earth and in the court of Heaven. This covenant relationship was created, designed, and introduced by God beginning with the first humans, Adam and Eve. From God's perspective, it is the most serious covenant relationship that mankind can enter. As a matter of fact, it's not only the first covenant relationship of mankind, it's the first human relationship of any kind. Friendship, parenthood, church affiliation, etc. all came after this relationship. Therefore, marriage is clearly God's idea. It's His institution- He owns it. It's His covenant arrangement for male and female reproduction. It's His tangible display of the covenant between Himself and the church. It's a covenant and it is law.

Con't in next blog post...

THE SHAPE OF ANGER: Part IV

IV: THE WRONG GIFT
If I were to ask a million of my fellow Christians, at one time, "Who wants to be a blessing to the devil?", or "How should we best set an atmosphere for him to work?", I am certain that I would not be received well--at all! In fact, I'd probably receive a fairly severe response. Such questions would be considered extremely offensive and likely require my speedy removal from the area. Those listening would emphatically declare those questions to be absurd, ridiculous, and simply stupid! No Christian would ever in their wildest imaginations; or in their worst state of sin, consider doing such things for Satan. Moreover, it would be easily concluded that since the devil is the great enemy of God and man, he doesn't deserve anything positive- ever! For only the God of salvation and posterity is due such honour.

Sadly, the next verse in our discussion shows that we do sometimes freely give to the devil. It is in our flesh (e.g. old man, sin nature) that we are much like our first parent- Adam, who freely gave his authority over to the devil. Adam put up no fight nor resistance. Unfortunately, sometimes neither do we. Remember, Satan is the great deceiver and he wants from you only what God deserves and he'll stop at nothing to get it!

Let's take a deeper look at this...

The very next verse in our discussion is Ephesians 4:27 - Neither give place to the devil. It's actually a continuation of verse 26; connected in English Bibles by a colon. Moreover, in the original Greek text these two verses disclose one complete thought about anger. Therefore, the entire thought may read like this: "When you get angry, do not sin. Don't allow the sun (literal or figurative) to set while still fuming with anger. Doing this will give the devil opportunity to do as he pleases." Two of the first things that jumps out in this verse is the word "give" then "to the devil". Why would the great Apostle Paul be talking to believers about giving anything to the devil other than a rebuke! In fact, this is the only place in the Bible where it specifically states that we give something to the devil. Now don't go overboard, we should know that all sin is a treat for Satan, because he's the father of sin. As such, it's apparent that he gets pleasure out of all sin. Nonetheless, in this verse it is clear who's giving, what the gift is, and who's receiving the gift. Moreover, by further study of this verse along with other scriptures on anger we can clearly see what the devil's plan is for using the gift. Let's go even deeper into this...

What does it mean to 'give place to the devil'?
(1) The original Greek word for 'give' means: to offer, to bestow, to deliver, to allow, to place, or to grant.
(2) The original Greek word for 'place' means: an opportunity, a room, a seat, a region, a spot, a license, a location, an occasion, a condition, or a plain. It is the word topos' where we derive the English word topography or landscape.

Therefore, the message of the verse is this: Unjust anger and the retaining of it is a gift or an offering for the devil. It sets a stage or atmosphere for him to propose ideas against someone or yourself even. Think about how easy it is to think negatively about someone when you're angry with them. Depending on how angry you are it wouldn't take much for you to act out on those ideas.

Consider this, Satan is a thief by deception and deception is always a trick. Deception causes you to believe a lie in the presence of truth. Remember Eve? Think about it. When angry, you know what you're doing. The problem is that the sin of unjust anger deceives you into thinking that your response is fitting for the offense against you. In an instant, you actually believe that the offender deserves your response in whatever form it comes. You know you're retaliating. All the while, God is softly whispering to you His will for handling the offense. This is a hard saying, but true: In that instant, you're actually demonstrating more faith in Satan's advice than God's.

With our first parents, Adam and Eve, the scriptures record that Eve was deceived, but not Adam. This is one of the reasons why Adam was ultimately held responsible for the fall of man - he knew that he was sinning against God at the time of the sin. Since we're discussing the sin of unjust anger, ask yourself, how many times have you held on to anger; knowing that God wanted you to release it? How many times has God spoken to you about forgiveness through some avenue and you still held on to the offense? This is willful sin, like according to Adam. But don't be so quick to let Eve off the hook either. Her sin also required punishment on her. If she did not sin, then she wouldn't have received an individual punishment. It would've been Adam alone. She had allowed herself to be deceived when she had the truth in the first place. So when you know you should release anger and allow yourself to be deceived into justification of it, it is sin like unto Eve.

Now, back to this gift that unjust anger provides to Satan. Let's do some contrasting. With God, any gift from us provided to Him is considered worship. In the general assemby of the church, monetary tithes and offerings are worship acts toward God. Moreover, with our praise, we set an atmosphere for Him to inhabit so we can worship. For the scripture declares that He inhabits the praises of His people. In essence, we establish a spot or environment for Him to abide and be comfortable. Within this atmosphere God can bless and prosper His people accordingly. He appreciates this invitation to fellowship with His people. god has always desired to dwell among His people.

Unfortunately, according to this verse, unjust anger also establishes a spot or creates an atmosphere for the devil. As with God it is an open invitation for Satan to press his claim on you and through you on someone else. He desires to attack from within. Did you get that? As God has blessed you within your human spirit. Satan also desires to attack you and others from within. Of course, believers can't be demon possessed but they can be demonically influenced. Satan cannot create, but you can. Satan uses human agents to do his bidding just as God. The difference is, Satan doesn't ask, he undermines your understanding and pressures you to do evil. God, on the other hand, desires that you serve Him because of your love for Him--no pressure applied. Have you ever noticed that anger produces pressure? It is good initially for self-defensive purposes. As a matter of fact God gifted man with the ability to get angry (See Part I). To get release. To defend a right cause. However, it is just like the devil to take something God made good and pervert it. The point is clear here: Unjust anger is Satan's environment or atmospheres to produce evil. He needs you to be angry without just cause, to an evil extent, and for a prolonged period. This is his stage. In this atmosphere, Satan can suggests the most evil ideas, of which you never would've thought if your anger was held in check.

Final part - Part V coming next week...

THE SHAPE OF ANGER - Part III

III. LENGTH: how long can you be angry
Ephesians 4:26 - Be ye angry and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath.

Now, continuing on our discussion of part 'b' of this verse: "let not the sun go down upon your wrath", let's briefly review the commentary of theologians Albert Barnes, Adam Clarke, and John Gill before we dive deeper into the scripture.

[A. Barnes] Let not the sun go down - Do not cherish anger. Do not sleep upon it. Do not harbor a purpose of revenge; do not cherish ill-will against another. “When the sun sets on a man’s anger, he may be sure it is wrong.” The meaning of the whole of this verse then is, “If you be angry, which may be the case, and which may be unavoidable, see that the sudden excitement does not become sin. Do not let it overleap its proper bounds; do not cherish it; do not let it remain in your bosom even to the setting of the sun. Though the sun be sinking in the west, let not the passion linger in the bosom, but let his last rays find you always peaceful and calm.”

[A. Clarke] Let not the sun go down upon your wrath - That is: If you do get angry with any one, see that the fire be cast with the utmost speed out of your bosom. Do not go to sleep with any unkind or unbrotherly feeling; anger, continued in, may produce malice and revenge. No temper of this kind can consist with peace of conscience and the approbation of God’s Spirit in the soul.

[J. Gill] Let not the sun go down upon your wrath - there is there is an allusion to  Deut.24:10 it seems to be a proverbial expression; and the design of it is to show, that anger should not be continued; that it should not last at furthest more than a day; that when the heat of the day is over, the heat of anger should be over likewise; and that we should not sleep with it, lest it should be cherished and increased upon our pillows; and besides, the time of the going down of the sun, is the time of evening prayer, which may be greatly interrupted and hindered by anger.

This part of the verse continues to embellish what we discussed in Part II. The extent of one's anger must be evaluated in order not to carry over into sin. To surmise, this part of the verse communicates the following:

• One should not allow anger to transfer from day to day. If so, it is sin. Reconciliation should take place immediately, in the same day, if possible. God dealt with Adam's sin in the garden quickly (Genesis 3). Since Adam and God usually walked in the cool of the day together in fellowship, when Adam sinned, God noticed it, and reconciled with him by the blood (e.g. coats of skin) immediately- the same day. God set the precedent in the beginning. He didn't linger in anger for days, weeks, months, or years before He covered them. We are too slow to reverse anger and attempt real reconciliation with others. There is a severe risk of going way overboard when you hold on to anger. Things are going to happen so you don't need to be overcome today because you've got yesterday's anger resting in your bosom. Anger will then be compounded and multiplied over several negative things. This is certainly not the will of God for anyone. It'll surely create more leverage for the devil in your life. Moreover, oftentimes people struggle to forgive because they struggle to reduce, then release anger. They carry too much too long. Are you doing this now? Think about this- God's mercies are new every morning toward us. He does not hold on to anger from day to day, particularly, once sin has been confessed. God also doesn't get mad again today about the sins you committed yesterday. Re-anger, unless the offense was re-committed, is not in God's nature. It is also not in your new nature as a believer. Furthermore, with God, everyday is a new opportunity for you to get it right. We should demonstrate the same with others. Of course, if it's a severe situation you may need to remove yourself from it for safety reasons. However, the removal of yourself does not exclude you from the proper management of anger. The Biblical principle is clear: The same grace and mercy extended to you everyday MUST be freely given to others who sin against you. If not, rest assured - it is sin and now you're liable to God's judgment and correction. Besides, some of what happens to us, that we consider unfair or unjust, is because we been so unfair and unjust to others. We remember when we were treated or responded to unfairly, but fail to recall our unfairness or unjust interactions with others. Unfortunately, the harvest will not be a one to one match. That's not how seedtime and harvest works. The harvest is always larger than the seed. If fact, in agriculture, the seed and the harvested crop may only be similar in color, if at all. Paul reminded us in Galatians 6:7 that God oversees sowing and reaping and to think that He doesn't, is like mocking Him. With all that said, in our flesh (e.g. old man/old nature/ wicked heart) there is a real temptation to continue in anger sometimes; especially if we feel greatly offended. This is understandable both by God and people. However, this temptation has to be overcome with God's help. So, since you will get offended at one point or another, know that God will help you to obey Him when it does happen. Anger must be put away before another day begins. We must not enter another day angry at anyone.
• In most cases, we are still angry with people when God is not. God is slow to anger and when or if He does become angry, He doesn't retain it. This is especially true for His children (e.g. believers). In this case, you can be sure that if you're still angry with them, it is sin. The length of your anger has went beyond what's acceptable by Heaven. How could you be more angry than God and all wrong is ultimately against Him? Are you more important than Him? God forbid you to think or act like it. If God is not angry (or no longer) with them neither should you be. In most cases, you don't know what the status of the other person's relationship with God is. They may've confessed the sin against you and are now on the road of repentance with God. Allow people the same time to repent that you want. Master anger and release people and free yourself. You cannot tie someone else down to a past wrong and not also be tying yourself down. What robber ties up both the victim and himself? Think about it.
• When anger is being held on to it is being cherished. The flesh (e.g. old man/old nature/ wicked heart) will cherish what it likes. This is severely troubling because we should really only cherish God and people. Not even tangible things are that important. Notwithstanding, this sort of cherishing, as theologian J.Gill points out (see above), is why we should not go to bed for the night angry at anyone. Your flesh actually values unjust anger because it gratifies (e.g. satisfies) both itself and the devil. Moreover, God is glorified by what's generated from your revived spirit. Satan is gratified by the wickedness of the flesh. Now, please carefully consider the following definition and synonyms for cherish: (1) to hold on or treat as dear, (2) to care for tenderly as a child, and (3) to cling to fondly. Foster. Harbor. Cherish, foster, harbor each imply giving affection, care, or shelter to something. Cherish suggests regarding or treating something as an object of affection or as valuable: to cherish a friendship. Foster implies sustaining and nourishing something with care, especially in order to promote, increase, or strengthen it: to foster a hope; to foster enmity. Harbor suggests giving shelter to or entertaining something undesirable, especially evil thoughts or intentions: to harbor malice or a grudge. Nurse. Nourish. Sustain. Treasure. NONE OF THIS SHOULD, IN WILDEST STRETCH OF THE IMAGINATION, BE ASSOCIATED WITH A BELIEVER'S ANGER. Unfortunately, the flesh is wicked and completely deceitful. Unjust, lengthy anger is deceptive. Be not deceived any longer. God will help you every time.
• Throughout the Bible, night- the period when the sun has gone down, is seen as a period of time when evil is manifested. "Let not the sun go down upon your wrath" reveals a great proverb. Darkness is associated with evil while Light with righteousness. Although metaphoric and proverbial, the underlying ideal is clear: When you allow anger to continue and linger you've now entered into a 'spiritual nighttime' state in relation to the offense. Now, Satan is skilled in and at darkness. He's a professional. Even in hell there is no light. Additionally, before God said, "let there be light", Satan was here on earth with his fallen company of angels in total darkness. Consequently, as we see or operate better in light, Satan actually sees or operates better in darkness. Sin is darkness. Unexpired anger is unjust and darkness. Hatred or contempt is darkness. All kinds of evil imaginations and ideas are conceived, then birthed, in darkness. Anger shifts levels up toward hatred. Be watchful. Revenging thoughts reveal that your anger has shifted to darkness. However, forgiveness and release happens in the light of God's love. Reel your anger inside the house of forgiveness and release before it gets dark. As it is with Day and Night, darkness is sure to come before long.

Along with talking to God, here are a few questions you might quickly consider asking yourself to ensure you don't hold on to anger too long:

(1) How long have I been angry? This is the most important question. Time is of the essence. You don't have time to investigate everything about the offense if you're going to release it. Of course, you need to clearly understand what happened, but the lengths some take to get there is not productive. You really don't need to know all the details of a wrong. It's the 'rights' that you want to stick. We discussed in an earlier part that rehearsal and review of a wrong is non-valuable.
(2) Why have I been angry this long? Is it a repetitive act that's occurring against me? Is it a fact or is my perception drawing conclusions? Am I just holding on because I think I have a right to? Be honest with yourself if you want honest progress. As always, be prayerful more about you than the offender.
(3) If it's been over a day, week, month, etc. and I'm still angry, do I want to be un-angry? The best answer is yes. However, if no, then just be aware of the things we've mentioned above and thus far in this blog series. God's judgment may now be pending for you in diverse forms. See the parable of the Unforgiving Servant in Matthew 18:23-35.
(4) If the answer to #3 is yes, then what should I do today to release this anger? This is an emergency. Approach God in prayer and listen and be watchful for His answer and direction. Also, seek professional counseling if necessary. Some suggests communication with the offender. Nothing long and drawn out, but basically letting them know that you're not angry any more with them and that you've forgiven them. This is usually important in close relationships. People (and you too) need to know by words and complementary actions that others are not angry with them anyone. God even told us such through His word; particularly with the Israelites of the Old Testament. He told them through the mouth of some prophet every time He forgave them. Conversely, such talks are not always necessary. Some wrongs are minor (e.g. minimal effects on minimal components) and shouldn't require it. Interestingly though, it does highlight the fact that you've been angry a while over something minor. Even still, you can release your anger, forgive, and move on without such talks right off. Again, God set a forgiving plan in motion for us through Christ before we were even born. We read it in the Bible, but its after the fact for the New Testament believer. Finally, such talks may even be impractical or unreasonable depending upon the nature and specifics of the offense. Be wise in your dealings.
(5) Let this renew your mind about how you interact with anger. Never suspect yourself to be above falling in this area. Conversely, if you do fall, you still have a responsibility to get up and regain your stance. You cannot be unjustly angry and justly forgive. RELEASE, FORGIVE, and LIVE again. God wants to help you more than know. He wants you better, much better.

THE SHAPE OF ANGER - Part II

II. EXTENT: the level/intensity of anger
Now, further reviewing the scripture noted in Part I, Ephesians 4:26 says, "Be ye angry and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath." We've already looked at the "a" part of this verse (above); now let's examine the "b" part. As I noted in Part I, 'and sin not' reveals that even acceptable anger can become sin if its extent or expression is not tapered. Anger should not become excessive or overly extreme. If it does, it has become sin.

- If anger consumes your thoughts, impairs your judgment, or severely impacts your actions, then you've allowed it to become excessive. God did not originally create mankind to be consumed with anger. See the Ecclesiastes 7:9 discussion in Part I.

- If anger begins to negatively affect your health or physical body then you've allowed it to become excessive. Is preserving your anger more important than preserving your health?

- If you strike, curse, or begin to hate someone or something, then it's excessive. Hatred is the end result of undiluted anger. You cannot love and hate at the same time. Many, many wars, fightings, and contentions among mankind have continued for centuries because of ill-advised anger leading the hearts of men. Some contentions have even been passed from generation to generation. Long-standing family feuds, community feuds, church or religious feuds, political feuds, and such like all stem from some unhealthy anger. Where is the burying of hatchets for the sake of peace and prosperity of the whole?

- If you are mentally developing plans to take revenge or retaliate, then it is excessive. Constant payback-like thinking reveals an unjust anger level. Vengeance belongs to the Lord. He does the repaying. You cannot try and force a harvest by your hands for a negative seed sown in your life by someone else. Allow God time and room to deal choicely with those that have purposely sinned against you. God withholds judgment on them until your retaliation efforts are deferred. Your response to what happens to you is crucial in determining the ultimate outcome. NOTE: God does not punish people for accidental wrongs or wrongs committed ignorantly. They’re called mistakes and you make them too. Only what was intentional and premeditated can be considered a seed sown. Is this not what the farmer does when planting crops for a harvest? It’s an intentional work.

- If you begin to not care about the object of your anger then it's become excessive. To purposely not care about an object, particularly a person, is hatred. Utter disgust. In this state, your anger has become sin. Even worse, hatred in the NT is considered murder (I John 3:15).

Now, in conjunctions with the above evaluations, if we've judged our anger to be of the right purpose, there are at least a couple of questions we might quickly consider asking ourselves to ensure we don't go overboard.

(1) Can I be less angry? If so, what can I do to calm down? Reading scripture, taking a quick deep breath, and/or a temporary removal from the situation are all ideas that could help you calm down. There are hosts of other things too you might do to achieve the same. Know yourself and do what works, although seek God for the best means. God did not intend for mankind to quickly or frequently be in a state of anger. If this is you, be prayerful so God can heal and instruct you about you. Undoubtedly, this is a sign that something deeper may be the culprit. Sometimes unresolved items, even from childhood, may lie dormant until the right environment allows it expression.

(2) What did or am I doing (or omitting to do) to remain angry at this level? People really cannot make us angry; it is a choice we make. Determine what you’re doing or not doing to maintain that level of anger. When discovered, change it for your own good. Nonetheless, usually rehearsal, exaggeration, or assumptive thinking are the culprits.

Part III next...

THE SHAPE OF ANGER - Part I

Greetings again everyone,

Today, I wish to write and share some deeper truths relative to anger which the Lord has been sharing with me over the past few weeks. My prayer is that the following discussion is, if not more, life-changing and revolutionary for you as it was for me and those I've already shared part of it with. Moreover, this is not an exhaustive study on the subject. However, I do believe it is a sound biblical study relative to the walk of faith and spiritual maturity.

Now, allow me to say this first - you don't have to have (or think you don't have) a problem with anger to receive some very real personal enlightenment from this discussion. It is the Word of God and it is life for your spirit man. Consequently, what we need most from God He's already provided for us in His Word. Trust me, all of us can be better people, more like Christ that is, in more ways than we know or are willing to admit. Therefore, before you read any further, either pray and/or suspend any inner defenses against this topic. God bless you. Let's get started.

To begin, let's observe a biblical definition of anger.

ANGER - (1) A feeling of great annoyance or antagonism as the result of some real or alleged grievance. Rage. Wrath. (2) The emotion of instant displeasure on account of something evil that presents itself in our view. In itself it is an original susceptibility of our nature, just as love is, and is not necessarily sinful. It does, however, become sinful when causeless, or excessive, or protracted (Matt. 5:22; Eph. 4:26; Col. 3:8). As ascribed to God, it merely denotes his displeasure with sin.

This definition reveals that anger is inner emotional excitement toward something negative or perceived as negative. Therefore, anger, in and of itself is not wrong. In fact, God created us, like He is, with the capacity and ability to experience this emotion. As a matter of fact, the scripture even tells us that anger is sometimes acceptable. Ephesians 4:26 - Be ye angry and sin not... In this verse, the 'be ye angry' part speaks of the idea of acceptable anger. Literally, the allowance of anger over sin and sinful things (e.g. lying, murder, idolatry, pride, etc.) which happen that God would become angry about. A summative thought would be: Anger over any sinful force which comes against the interests of God. Anger over such things God considers acceptable. However, the 'and sin not' part suggests that even acceptable anger can become sin at a certain point. Remember, all sin is against God. You cannot sin against a person and not be sinning against God simultaneously. This would also be true when your anger toward a person or object becomes sin, now you’re at offense with God.

So, when exactly does anger become sin? The answer is simple, yet substantive. It involves anger's purpose, extent, and length. We’ll review each of these in detail. Note that the definition of anger (shown above) reveals that anger becomes sin when it is – causeless (unjust), excessive, and/or prolonged. To be sin, it can be either, all, or a combination of these. Lets talk about the first component - purpose.

I. PURPOSE: anger with or without a right (just) cause
Matthew 5:21-22a - Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment: But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. Jesus spoke this statement while delivering His famous sermon on the mount. It consumes three chapters (5-7) in Matthew’s gospel account. Here Jesus tells His disciples that murder was judged and punishable by God in the Old Testament (OT) under the law. However, now under the New Testament (NT), any causeless (e.g. unjust) anger or hatred toward a person is liable to God’s judgment and punishment. The ‘brother’ in the verse means neighbor; or basically anyone. So in the OT it was the murderous act that was subject to God's judgment, but now, in the NT, it is the unjust anger (e.g. murderous attitude) and heart that is subject to God's judgment. To God, unjust anger is like hatred, then murder. So let’s be clear, any anger established which is of a cause that God wouldn’t have is causeless. Yes, you may have a cause for it, but would that be God’s cause? Moreover, the emphasis is on the purpose for the anger. If there is no real reason, it is sin. If the reason is faulty; something which God is not offended by, it is sin. This even includes something as simple as road rage. [Lol - This was something I almost had yesterday while driving behind some slow drivers on the Interstate]. Therefore, right at the beginning of our anger over something there are a few questions we might quickly consider asking ourselves to ensure our purpose is right.

(1) Why or what am I really getting angry about?
(2) Am I getting angry at more than I'm admitting?
(3) Do I have to become angry? Am I really getting angry only to protect my right to get angry? Your right to anger ends when disobedience (e.g. unjust anger) begins. Therefore, it's not a right you're protecting now, but a wrong you're protecting.
(4) Am I hurt? NOTE: You can be hurt and not necessarily angry, but you cannot be angry and not hurt.
(5) Am I angry at a person(s) or an act(s)? If either, is it the right person(s) or act(s)?
(6) Was the act a sin? Is God or would God get angry about this? If it is not a sin you should be wary about becoming angry. God has a track record of only getting angry over sin. We are made like Him and have what it takes to express Him.

Proverbs 14:17 - He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly: and a man of wicked devices is hated. Ecclesiastes 7:9 - Do not be eager in your heart to be angry, For anger resides in the bosom of fools (NASB). Adam Clarke's Commentary asserts, "Dealeth foolishly - He has no time for reflection; he is hurried on by his passions, speaks like a fool, and acts like a madman. Anger resteth in the bosom of fools - A wise man, off his guard, may feel it for a moment: but in him it cannot rest: it is a fire which he immediately casts out of his breast. But the fool - the man who is under the dominion of his own tempers, harbors and fosters it, till it takes the form of malice, and then excites him to seek full revenge on those whom he deems enemies."

Finally, do you have a history of getting angry too quickly or too often? Be honest with yourself and God. It also may be a good idea to ask a trusted friend, partner, or relative of whom you have significant history if your view of your temperament is accurate. Even still, everyone should determine their anger frequency? Do you find yourself becoming angry a few times a year, a few times a month, a few times a week, a few times day, etc. No matter what the reason, if you are quickly or frequently angered then your state is clear in scripture. This may be a challenging word, but Prov. 14:17 and Eccl. 7:9 (shown above) calls such person a fool. However, if that is you, don't feel bad for one moment, there is good news. You don't have to remain that way. God is not mad at you, but desires to help and bless you greatly! A lot of people have anger problems but don't know it. They haven't evaluated themselves against the scriptures. Typically, anger problems suggests a deeper issue(s); perhaps some unresolved or unhealed areas in your past that need God's healing treatment. God will help you speedily if you desire. Pray and ask Him to show you YOU and help you recover. Praise God! Trust me, there is really no need to feel bad. Besides, all people at one time or another have acted foolishly.

Part II next...

THE SHAPE OF ANGER: Prelude

Greetings saints,

To begin this blog segment, let's review the Biblical commentary of theologian Albert Barnes on Ephesians 4:26-27 - Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath. Neither give place to the devil.

Anger is sinful in the following circumstances: (1) When it is excited without any sufficient cause - when we are in no danger, and do not need it for a protection. We should be safe without it. (2) When it transcends the cause, if any cause really exists. All that is beyond the necessity of immediate self-protection, is apart from its design, and is wrong. (3) When it is against or greater toward “the person” rather than the “offence.” The object is not to injure one another; it is to protect ourselves. (4) When it is attended with the desire of “revenge.” That is always wrong; Rom.12:17, Rom.12:19. (5) When it is cherished and heightened by reflection. And, (6) when there is an unforgiving spirit; a determination to exact the utmost satisfaction for the injury which has been done."

Over the next few blog posts we will examine some of these thoughts in detail.

• You cannot hold on to and release something at the same time. Neither can you grasp what should be held on to.

Part I next...