Marriage: Adultery - Disclose to Defend con't...

NOTE: For my unknown readers/followers: With this post and any other post that I write related to marriage I am NOT talking about my marriage, unless I specifically say. I wouldn't do that to my wife. Besides, the Internet is not the place nor the audience for that. We have a great marriage and operate via faith just like any other Christian marriage. My objective here is simply what it has always been- to share with you what the Lord propels me to write.

Yesterday, I was minding my own business and the Lord began to share something, similar to a word of wisdom, with me about some people my wife and I had been praying for. As clear as I sit and type this, the Lord said that He was going to "uphold a spouse because of their honesty". Allow me to put the main idea of this statement into a few bullets. Of course, this can benefit singles as well. Please be aware that these next few statements concerning marriage are fairly straightforward and serious. The same tone taken in scripture about marriage underlies what's written. Here goes...

• Honesty is truth.
• You will never have any real or long-term peace without truth.
• There is no real freedom without truth.
• Be 100% truthful with God at all times. He knows anyway.
• Be 100% truthful with yourself at all times.
• Be 100% truthful with your spouse at all times.
• Being honest with your spouse will prevent the enemy from gaining ground in your marriage through deceit.
• Do not allow too much time to pass from an unseen offense or marital violation until the time you come clean. Tell the truth. God sees all, yet we still must confess our sins (1 John 1:9)
• At the base level, adultery is having sex with someone other than your spouse. However, New Testament (NT) scripture says that if we look on someone with lust- adultery of the heart has already been committed (Matt. 5:28). Therefore, NT scripture takes adultery a step further. You don't have to sexually touch a person. Don't be deceived by the enemy into thinking that just because you hadn't had sex with a person other than your spouse that you hadn't committed adultery. Further, do not allow ANY unhealthy communications or interactions with the opposite sex. What's 'unhealthy' you say? Whatever communications and interactions you know that your spouse would be uncomfortable with. It is in your power to keep distrust, confusion, and strife away from your marriage.
• If you have committed adultery on your spouse, confess it to God immediately and be prayerful. Both God and your spouse have been violated. You have robbed your spouse of what only belongs to them. Counseling also may be necessary at this point to help with the recovery efforts between you and your spouse. Either way, if you want to repair the breach (e.g. hole produced by the adultery) in your marriage, you'll speak up and repent to God. If not, expect more frustration and difficulty than planned for your life and marriage.
• CORRECT THE ADULTERY - Stop it and close all adulterous access points!
• Be prayerful for your spouse that you've committed adultey on. Open and honest confession will open a door to healing for the relationship (See James 5:16). Your spouse needs you to build a track record of telling the truth even when it hurts. For the years to come, they must know that you'll tell them the truth. This will bring long-standing firm security to the other spouse and you too.
• Anything withheld from your spouse that you should communicate creates a breach. This breach becomes a spiritual opening for the devil. Only God and the devil knows what's next then. You, your spouse, your children, your finances, etc. - all are vulnerable now.
• Whenever you withhold what's necessary from your spouse, you keep things from God withheld from you and your marriage. Remember, the two of you are now one in the eyes of God. God will chatise the spouse who knowingly causes the other to lack information.
• The spouse that withholds will suffer the most. Remember, God can chatise spouses individually. See Adam and Eve.
• Partial truth is dishonesty.
• Late truth is dishonesty.
• Do not expect a marriage that you're continuing to violate to be successful. It may last, but it won't successfully last. There will be a degree of misery due to unconfessed marital violations. Don't help the enemy attack you and your marriage. He doesn't need any assistance in destroying you or your marriage. He already hates you, your spouse, and your marriage.
• There will never be 100% trust, without 100% honesty. Don't expect it. Fear will remain in the area of your untruthfulness, filtering over into other areas. If you are fearful that your spouse will violate your marriage, is it because you have in some way?
• The honesty ball is always in your court regardless of what your spouses actions or responses are. You're held accountable for you, not them. God is looking at you. Don't try to get Him to look at them. He's looking to you to come up to His standard of honesty.
• Marriage is serious to God. So are the violations of it.
• Marriage is a covenant not an agreement. All violations of it, particularly adultery, is a covenant violation.
• Give your marriage the blessing of truthfulness til death. Amen.

Folks, please stay tuned. Initially, I planned for this blog series to be only two parts, however I'm compelled to continue on. There are some other necessary items up next for discussion about marriage. Additionally, I will be posting a series of scriptures related to each marriage topic. The related scriptures will be posted on a stand alone blog post. Until next time, feel free to comment. Shalom!

Marriage: Adultery - Disclose to Defend

Greetings folks,

Up to this point I haven't blogged on anything related to marriage. Although, I have tweeted and retweeted on the subject [@Wordman138 and @Wordman137 on Twitter]. Of course, prior to my own marriage I didn't necessarily feel propelled to do so. However, the time has come. I'm excited!

Let's get started...First, we'll quickly look at dating.

Dating
Usually people date before they commit to marrying someone. Some date one person, some date a few people, and some date many people. Moreover, some just casually have sex (e.g. fornicate), but wouldn't exactly call those relationships dating relationships. Whatever the case, to God, and to most people, those relationships wouldn't be considered marriages. Of course, if you lived in Biblical times or live in a region that observes similar Biblical customs, you'd probably never date. You'd just select one person or have someone selected for you to marry and eventually get married. That's it. Interestingly enough, dating is really not acknowledged in scripture. This is not to suggest that dating does not matter to God, because it does matter. People matter and what they do and whom they do it with seriously matters to Him. He's a God of purpose and we are people of purpose whether we know it or not. Think about it: Everyone has a purpose and "purposed-people" they're suppose to interact with. Besides, there can be some negative long term effects from our dating decisions. Some of which, impact our lives significantly. Therefore, we need not down play dating as immaterial, especially if sex is involved. To put it frankly- to God, before marrying, anyone that haves sex with someone is considered a whore. Man or woman. Biblically, the emphasis is not so much on the number of sex partners that makes them a whore, but the fact that it's sex outside of marriage. Even if the sex partners plan on marrying each other- it's fornication which is whoredom. So if you're a person that attempts to make others feel bad because of the number of their sex partners, think again- evaluating yourself carefully in light of the scripture. Besides, we ALL have things that we need to repent of...TODAY!

Now, although very important, dating is not a covenant nor covenant-producing arrangement designed by God. There are no legal vows or documents involved. God does not directly sanction such relationships from the throne of Heaven. Additionally, dating does not spiritually represent anything in God's grand scheme.

Marriage
Marriage, on the other hand, does have spiritual representations and significations. It's a covenant relationship, including vows and is legally binding on earth and in the court of Heaven. This covenant relationship was created, designed, and introduced by God beginning with the first humans, Adam and Eve. From God's perspective, it is the most serious covenant relationship that mankind can enter. As a matter of fact, it's not only the first covenant relationship of mankind, it's the first human relationship of any kind. Friendship, parenthood, church affiliation, etc. all came after this relationship. Therefore, marriage is clearly God's idea. It's His institution- He owns it. It's His covenant arrangement for male and female reproduction. It's His tangible display of the covenant between Himself and the church. It's a covenant and it is law.

Con't in next blog post...

THE SHAPE OF ANGER: Part IV

IV: THE WRONG GIFT
If I were to ask a million of my fellow Christians, at one time, "Who wants to be a blessing to the devil?", or "How should we best set an atmosphere for him to work?", I am certain that I would not be received well--at all! In fact, I'd probably receive a fairly severe response. Such questions would be considered extremely offensive and likely require my speedy removal from the area. Those listening would emphatically declare those questions to be absurd, ridiculous, and simply stupid! No Christian would ever in their wildest imaginations; or in their worst state of sin, consider doing such things for Satan. Moreover, it would be easily concluded that since the devil is the great enemy of God and man, he doesn't deserve anything positive- ever! For only the God of salvation and posterity is due such honour.

Sadly, the next verse in our discussion shows that we do sometimes freely give to the devil. It is in our flesh (e.g. old man, sin nature) that we are much like our first parent- Adam, who freely gave his authority over to the devil. Adam put up no fight nor resistance. Unfortunately, sometimes neither do we. Remember, Satan is the great deceiver and he wants from you only what God deserves and he'll stop at nothing to get it!

Let's take a deeper look at this...

The very next verse in our discussion is Ephesians 4:27 - Neither give place to the devil. It's actually a continuation of verse 26; connected in English Bibles by a colon. Moreover, in the original Greek text these two verses disclose one complete thought about anger. Therefore, the entire thought may read like this: "When you get angry, do not sin. Don't allow the sun (literal or figurative) to set while still fuming with anger. Doing this will give the devil opportunity to do as he pleases." Two of the first things that jumps out in this verse is the word "give" then "to the devil". Why would the great Apostle Paul be talking to believers about giving anything to the devil other than a rebuke! In fact, this is the only place in the Bible where it specifically states that we give something to the devil. Now don't go overboard, we should know that all sin is a treat for Satan, because he's the father of sin. As such, it's apparent that he gets pleasure out of all sin. Nonetheless, in this verse it is clear who's giving, what the gift is, and who's receiving the gift. Moreover, by further study of this verse along with other scriptures on anger we can clearly see what the devil's plan is for using the gift. Let's go even deeper into this...

What does it mean to 'give place to the devil'?
(1) The original Greek word for 'give' means: to offer, to bestow, to deliver, to allow, to place, or to grant.
(2) The original Greek word for 'place' means: an opportunity, a room, a seat, a region, a spot, a license, a location, an occasion, a condition, or a plain. It is the word topos' where we derive the English word topography or landscape.

Therefore, the message of the verse is this: Unjust anger and the retaining of it is a gift or an offering for the devil. It sets a stage or atmosphere for him to propose ideas against someone or yourself even. Think about how easy it is to think negatively about someone when you're angry with them. Depending on how angry you are it wouldn't take much for you to act out on those ideas.

Consider this, Satan is a thief by deception and deception is always a trick. Deception causes you to believe a lie in the presence of truth. Remember Eve? Think about it. When angry, you know what you're doing. The problem is that the sin of unjust anger deceives you into thinking that your response is fitting for the offense against you. In an instant, you actually believe that the offender deserves your response in whatever form it comes. You know you're retaliating. All the while, God is softly whispering to you His will for handling the offense. This is a hard saying, but true: In that instant, you're actually demonstrating more faith in Satan's advice than God's.

With our first parents, Adam and Eve, the scriptures record that Eve was deceived, but not Adam. This is one of the reasons why Adam was ultimately held responsible for the fall of man - he knew that he was sinning against God at the time of the sin. Since we're discussing the sin of unjust anger, ask yourself, how many times have you held on to anger; knowing that God wanted you to release it? How many times has God spoken to you about forgiveness through some avenue and you still held on to the offense? This is willful sin, like according to Adam. But don't be so quick to let Eve off the hook either. Her sin also required punishment on her. If she did not sin, then she wouldn't have received an individual punishment. It would've been Adam alone. She had allowed herself to be deceived when she had the truth in the first place. So when you know you should release anger and allow yourself to be deceived into justification of it, it is sin like unto Eve.

Now, back to this gift that unjust anger provides to Satan. Let's do some contrasting. With God, any gift from us provided to Him is considered worship. In the general assemby of the church, monetary tithes and offerings are worship acts toward God. Moreover, with our praise, we set an atmosphere for Him to inhabit so we can worship. For the scripture declares that He inhabits the praises of His people. In essence, we establish a spot or environment for Him to abide and be comfortable. Within this atmosphere God can bless and prosper His people accordingly. He appreciates this invitation to fellowship with His people. god has always desired to dwell among His people.

Unfortunately, according to this verse, unjust anger also establishes a spot or creates an atmosphere for the devil. As with God it is an open invitation for Satan to press his claim on you and through you on someone else. He desires to attack from within. Did you get that? As God has blessed you within your human spirit. Satan also desires to attack you and others from within. Of course, believers can't be demon possessed but they can be demonically influenced. Satan cannot create, but you can. Satan uses human agents to do his bidding just as God. The difference is, Satan doesn't ask, he undermines your understanding and pressures you to do evil. God, on the other hand, desires that you serve Him because of your love for Him--no pressure applied. Have you ever noticed that anger produces pressure? It is good initially for self-defensive purposes. As a matter of fact God gifted man with the ability to get angry (See Part I). To get release. To defend a right cause. However, it is just like the devil to take something God made good and pervert it. The point is clear here: Unjust anger is Satan's environment or atmospheres to produce evil. He needs you to be angry without just cause, to an evil extent, and for a prolonged period. This is his stage. In this atmosphere, Satan can suggests the most evil ideas, of which you never would've thought if your anger was held in check.

Final part - Part V coming next week...